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So last night I came across a really good blog post by a mom, and I enjoyed it so much because I really identified with what she was saying. I felt like she understood me in a way. I remember being pregnant with my 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th babies, in the stage in where I would really start showing my pregnancy. As in, when I could no longer hide it anymore. I would always forget this sensation, until I ended up reliving it again. When our family would go to a public place like the grocery store, and I would feel, well… ashamed that I was pregnant.
It did make me wonder how many other pregnant moms felt the same way. But why would I feel this way? I think part of it is a reaction to some of the questions and comments random people like to make in response to parents with children; “Don’t you guys own a TV?” “Is there something in the water?” “Ever heard of birth control?” If you have any of these questions see: …Answers to Frequently Asked Questions From Random Grocery Store Strangers.
Anyhow, here’s a link to the well written blog post ” I Got Shamed For Having 3 Under 3 But It Was So Much Worse Than They Knew.
Here is the comment I left for the author:
“I read your post and thought, Wow. I know how she feels. In Feb. 2018 (1 month ago now) I gave birth to my 7th baby. And I know that shame you are talking about. The excitement of being pregnant with a baby God had been speaking to us about for over a year can dim a bit when walking around in public with 6 children and being very pregnant with your 7th. It’s a real struggle I know moms deal with. I started writing about it too because I got to this point where I felt like I needed to voice some things that I believe need to be voiced. For instance, this narrative we get from society that having “too many” children is “irresponsible”, or “immoral”. Even prolife, church people will tell you that kind of stuff indiscriminantly. God sees things very differently though, the 1st thing He ever said to man was “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it.” Our culture now a days tells us the exact polar opposite. People have forgotten what marriage is, and what it’s purpose was even intended by God for. Malachi 2:15 “You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore, guard your passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth. ” (The Living Bible) Thank you for writing about your experience. I appreciate it, and I understand. You really said it in such a beautiful way, your writing voice is so graceful. -Emily @ www.havemorebabies.com “
This quote from the author just really “got” me, I wanted to stand up and yell: “YES!”
“Regardless of how a baby is brought into this world, no one should ever feel ashamed that they are carrying life. Teen pregnancy, out of wedlock pregnancy, back to back pregnancy, whatever it is, life is life and babies are gifts. I know that’s such a cliche’ thing to say but it’s just so true. And who gets to say when a good time to have a baby is? Why does anyone else get to have input on other people’s family size and the speed at which that family grows? Who gets to decide who is is worthy or “deserves” to have a baby?
We may not have planned this baby, but we’re the only ones that get to have an opinion about him or her. No one else gets to shake their heads and say “That’s so irresponsible”. No one else gets to say, “How are you going to care for another kid when you can barely afford the ones you already have?” And please if we can keep the, “You do know how this happens, right?” comments at bay, that’d be nice too.”